Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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