I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize