So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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