he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have post one night stand depression
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