it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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