So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
