Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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