i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
