bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
