We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
