Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
