Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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