Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
