youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
