I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He called his prostate his "boner button".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
