when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
