So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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