I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
