Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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