you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
