I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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