ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
