but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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