I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
