no. you can't hotbox the world.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
