my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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