you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
