she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
