remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
