That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
