weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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