Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
