I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
