You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We got so high we made milksteak
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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