i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
