brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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