so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well I just put wine in my tea
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
