i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
