help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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