I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
