You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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