I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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