I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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