Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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