I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
