I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
