In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
