she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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