I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
