if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize