so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
