I puked a lego.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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