He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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