the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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