Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
