i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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