Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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