I'm lost and stupid without you.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
