Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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