forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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