he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
