..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
