hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
