I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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